I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
This baby is an asshole
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
that is very illegal...i love you.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
