Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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