is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
