He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
are you so shy because you have an std?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
