you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
