i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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