its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
NoShamevember. You game?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
