who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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