It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I need water and some morals
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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