Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
