I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
