i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
