People in love make me want to vomit
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
