if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
