So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
