I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
