If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
