therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Randomize
