Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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