Where are you?
In a non slutty way
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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