some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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