but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So much rum. So many feels.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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