I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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