Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just tell him i said nine months
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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