You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
