She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The feeling are messing with the penis
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Randomize
