whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
