he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
