I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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