so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
