Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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