You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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