i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
