Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
