yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
