maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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