I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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