I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
