We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
