She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
