He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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