You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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