Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
