She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize