I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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