so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
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