what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
a search helicopter?!
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
