i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize