god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
