Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
