I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
you will always have a special place in my vag
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
