Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
