who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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