I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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