There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
