Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
