This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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