my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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