I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Randomize