She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
