i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Drake has all the answers
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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