Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize